I've been reading some Charlie Brooker lately, and some of his rants have had me wiping pee off the floor and my trousers. I've laughed until my jaw ached and I found it very cathartic, so I thought I'd vent.

People who say 'meh' are twats. It's utterly true. Sorry, this isn't directed at any one person in particular, and I know all of my friends are smart people so this isn't about them, but the next person who uses it in my presence, whether my mother or my boss, will have me shouting TWAAAAAATTTTTTT in their face at full volume. In fact, no, I'm not sorry at all. If you've used it in the past, then please stop now, or refrain from using it when I'm around, and we won't ever have a falling out.

Meh is not a word. It's a sound. When you let air out of a tire, it creates a sound, but you'd never try to suggest that was a word with meaning. Meh is a lack of imagination. It's the type of noise that Chris Moyles listeners use regularly, and they're also the type of people who think he is really clever and funny and has a point. He doesn't. Ever. He's a dick. A brainless idiot, fuckwit, who is contributing to the continued dumbing down of the media, society and this country as a whole. People who think he is cool or hip are just plain wrong, or they're just too fucking stupid to notice. Meh, it's the sound people who read the Sun use all the time. They also think it's a really good informative read that is jam-packed full of facts that shape their lives. It's trash. Plain and simple.

Meh means you are so fucking lazy, or so lacking in brain power that you can't even be bothered to think, for say, ten seconds, and then form an opinion, instead of using a noise that doesn't mean anything. It's like me farting directly in your face when you ask me what I thought of the latest Indiana Jones film. In fact, farting in your face would be better and more informative, because as well as a noise, you also get an unpleasant smell to assail your nostrils, thereby engaging two of your five senses. If you didn't like something, tell me why! Was it boring? Was it too long or too short? Were the characters unlikeable? Was it unrealistic? Was it silly, crude, soppy, depressing? Were you not engaged by the story? Was it too much of a deviation what came before? Tell me something, anything, just have a fucking opinion!

You've been warned.

Someone else started this writing idea thing, but I'm now a part of it. One of the other UK comics podcasts has a writing forum and they have small writing competitions, mostly just for fun, not for any prizes, and it's changes like write a good action scene, or the opening paragraph to a book etc. One guy did just that, a comic writer for Orang Utan comics Pete Rogers, as the first entry for a journal found in the rubble, with a note saying all details had been copied from the original and reproduced.

Originally he was going to write an entry every day but due to other commitment doesn't have time to do it that often. So 8 of us are taking it in turns to write an entry, and try to follow it on as best as we can, and make it interesting and cool, and I'm one of the secret 8. OK, not so secret, but it sounds more interesting if I say that.

It's the day after an alien invasion, and it's the journal of a man that was found in the rubble. That's your starting point. Go.

We're going to do it for maybe 100 entries, maybe more if we really enjoy it.

If you fancy reading it, follow the link below........

http://www.theendofthehumanrace.blogspot.com/

Well episode 13 of the comics podcast, Comic Book Outsiders, I co-host is now out there, and over the weekend I will continue my attempt to spread the word far and wide across the internet.

It was a nice early birthday present, interviewing Terry Moore, and after speaking with him I can confirm he is officially the nicest guy in comics. He was very relaxed and laid back, and his answers were thoughtful. I'm also hoping the questions we asked were not the same as others he has been asked a billion times about Strangers in Paradise or his creative process. I also hope that in a small way we contribute to more people checking out his work, and looking at his new indy title Echo. Some people will never have heard of him before and will no doubt discover him via his Marvel work, which will come out later this year or early next year. I just hope a few of them take a chance and go back and read SiP and get on board with Echo, as he deserves widespread recognition as an excellent writer and storyteller.

So this was the first creator interview and it marks the start of our campaign to grow our audience over the year. We have a few others lined up already, and now all we need to do is schedule them in and keep up the momentum. Scott and I both said we're doing this because we enjoy it and because we like comics, but if it ever begins to feel like a job or a chore, then we'd stop. We try for an episode every fortnight, but it's now coming out about twice a month, which is fine as I'd rather have quality than quantity. There are a host of other comic podcasts out there that I think are utterly rubbish and quite frankly, pointless. Some of them just love the sound of their own voices, and they have an episode out every week, or twice a week in some cases, and it's just noise. It is my belief we are doing something different, and I hope we get people to take a chance on comics and TV they might not have previously considered and broaden their horizons, because that's why we're doing it, not to inflate our egos.

Now I'm rambling. It's been a short week, but a tiring one with a long day trip to London in the middle of it. I've got nothing planned for the weekend except sleep, catching up on TV I've taped over the past two weeks, eating Easter chocolate and a bit of writing. Bliss.

So, today I had a meeting with my new short term boss, a nice enough bloke (from what I could gather from our 20 minute meeting) who basically wanted to meet me and talk through what I'd be doing. Seems simple enough, helping with PQQ documents (that's Pre-Qualification Quotes) for tender documents, which I've done before. It's mostly a data gathering exercise, ticking various boxes, dotting I's and crossing T's so the person your sending the tender to knows your business is competent and has the skills and qualifications, then they get to the fun part, the tender itself, and that where it turns into a cat fight and people drop their pants on price to get the deal. Sounds exciting right? Well, no, not really. It's sales support, but it's work, and it will keep me out of the house Monday to Friday from now until Saturday 22nd when I head up north to see my folks and my brother and his wife for a few days, before coming back down here to have a second Christmas with Liz and then New Year.

So, I've now registered with about eight agencies, I kid you not, I've been to see three of them in the last two weeks, three others I'd previously dealt with a lot so didn't have to go in and have the pointless 20 minute talk through your CV, so come January it better kick off properly. I'm going to be a bit more careful about taking a job going forward. I'm not going to be more picky, but I am going to ask a lot more pertinent questions to make sure they know what they want and what I can do. A lesson I've learned the hard way (in terms of marketing jobs) don't go for one unless it's through an agency, or they have a very clear job description so there can be no pissing around later on.

Got 90% of my Christmas shopping done, one more parcel is winging its way to me from Amazon with a couple of presents for my sister in law, and apart from that and another present for my mum that has to be bought fresh, I'm done. Everything I have is wrapped up and I'm all set.

Looking back, it's been a very busy and quite a good year overall, with a big change of living circumstances, comic conventions, meeting up with friends, birthdays, a holiday to Rome for my non-special birthday. It just seems a shame that this work stuff should leave a sour taste in my mouth right at the end, but some of that has been taken away by this temp work. I just hope I can get something decent soon in the new year, or keep temping somewhere until something good happens. I guess we'll just have to see.

Happy Christmas everyone, hope to see you soon.

Hello,

Still alive, just kind of not much happening at the moment really to report. I was made redundant, as you probably know, and since then I've been job hunting, speaking to agencies, applying for jobs online. Also I seem to have had a bit of a bad time health wise recently, after a bad cold, I then got a nasty cough that was a chest infection in disguise, so I went to the doctor's and got some pills for it, then got a temperature in the middle of it. So it was kind of fortunate that I wasn't at work as I had time to recover.

So, last weekend my mum came to visit and Liz's folks for her birthday, and the parents got to meet for the first time, and we all had a really nice time. Everyone got on, there were no issues or awkward silences, and Liz got some nice presents and lots of cards, and all went well.

As of today, I'm kind of in the doldrums a little, I want to be doing something between now and Christmas, temp work would be good, a permanent role would be better, but given the time of year its kind of unlikely. It seems most likely that all the job stuff will kick off in January, but I prefer to be busy. I had a meeting with another agency today and it felt good to have an appointment, to get out of the house and meet someone new, to talk about work stuff. I miss the routine of going out and coming home and relaxing. Right now I can't really relax at home so being at home isn't really much fun, and I don't want to feel uncomfortable in my own home.

Anyway, I've got Christmas shopping to do between now and going home for the holidays, I'm going to try and get back into a routine, so when Liz gets up for work, I will too, so I'm not just lounging in bed. I actually can't relax at the moment, probably because I'm not doing much so my brain isn't that active or that tired, so sleeping in, is not really an option.

Looking forward to going home to my parents house for the holidays and seeing my parents and my brother, getting some tasty home cooking and kind of rinsing my head out I guess so I can start the new year fresh. Bad time to be made redundant, worst time actually since the market is so quiet, let's hope I can just get something to keep me ticking over so I don't go totally stir crazy in the house.

Bit of a moanie post, but overall I'm actually doing ok, I'm just kind of bored. Tackling my former employer and going after them for wrongful dismissal and the like will have to wait, happy and proud as it would make my dad if I pursued it from now for the next ten years. Right now priority one is getting a job, the rest can wait.

Wil Wheaton is appearing in one episode of the new series of Numb3rs which just filmed recently about a fake comic convention called Alt Con I think. They asked local comic artists to come along, and bring their comics and sit and so for two days they had a pretend comic convention whilst Rob Morrow and David Krumholtz and the rest acted around them. And of course Wil Wheaton, who was sat reading a We3 trade, and going on about Warren Ellis. Well, we knew he couldn't be perfect, despite being a pretty good looking bloke and a first rate geek. :)

So, midway through my second week in the job, and already I've got stuff to do, sure most of it is stuff I've agreed with my boss to look at, but some of it is me pushing myself marketing-wise, if such a thing is possible. I'm an one man marketing army again, so I'm trying stretch some muscles I've not used in a while as my marketing focus was quite narrow, so not done Press releases in a while, so dusting off the rust on that. Overall though, the work is good, the people are nice and already I've had free cake and a cream cake in two weeks, which might not sound like much but believe me, even the little things make a huge difference. The company wants to grow, the people want to do well as if they do, we all get a bonus, and so it's in everyones best interest, also a lot of the staff are quite young, so they're hungry. It's such a weird feeling to go to my boss, ask him something and have him say, yeah sure, or ok you look into that compared to how it used to be. So, the job is good, the commute is longer, but it means I'm up to date on all podcasts and I can even listen to more, and for a job I like I don't mind the drive.

The other big news is of course moving house. I move into my house, well our house, my first home since my parents home, on Saturday. I have the keys to my flat for a week longer so its not as if I have to have every single scrap of clothing etc out of the flat, but I'm trying to do that. I want it to be a clean break if that makes sense. So I'm packing, ferrying stuff over there at night a car load at a time, and big stuff will go in the van on Saturday.

Comic news, the new comic Empyre, is going well. Very Very well. It's a 4 issue series, which I wrote last year in fact, and now it's moving. Got a good penciller, good inker on board and we're looking for a colourist. I'm VERY excited about this and think it will do well, also it's a great pooling of UK talent (well an Irishman, me and a guy from London I think it is) so let's see if we can get a UK letterer too to finish it off. More news when I have it.

Mythos Issue 5 is done, gone to printers and so has the first trade. It's a preview version really, one for Brum convention next month, the one for Diamond and hopefully American comic shops etc, will have all the sketches in. This one is just bare bones 5 issues, no sketches, no pinups. Only way to do it and have something in time for the convention.

So, my phone gets turned off on Friday, and turned back on, hopefully at the new place on Monday, so I won't be without my beloved internet and email for too long.

Hope you're all well and email or text me!!!!!

Well, it seems as if I'm getting there. My persistant online stalking is paying off and I've found an Irish penciller who seems competant, interested, enthusiastic and he gets it, which is all good. He's even done a couple of character sketches for me already, and we've spoken online on Skype twice. That's more than any other artist has done in such a short space of time. I'm actually starting to feel quite upbeat it. I've also been hunting online and I've got a list of colourists and inkers to attack next and see if any of them work out. The hardest part is not the writing at all, although I will say that is a bugger, it's getting the rest of the creative team, and arranging them, but this Irish artist, is going to help, so it's not just me doing everything. So, some progress made and things are looking good.

We got the house keys Friday, and it was both weird and wonderful to walk into my/our house. Spent most of Saturday cleaning out the loft and then shopping for house stuff and we've got an idea of what we want. We did get a bed, which is on order, and a delivery date sorted, so that's a start.

Tomorrow is the last day of my old job, and I can't wait to get out, have a nice break, wash my head out and get all the ICM crap out, so I go into my new job positive and excited, not negative, miserable and with low expectations, which is what this place does to everyone who works here. It's like a terrible poison that creeps into your system. Also I never have to see my little shit of a boss again. Bliss. Going out for some lovely Persian grub after work tomorrow with people from work, and the boss is NOT invited, so it will be a good way to end my last day.

Then it's on to house stuff, stripping wallpaper, buying paint and what not, so a few trips to B & Q is likely in the next few days. It's a big year with lots of change, hopefully all for the better, and I'm excited about it and am not wishing my time away like I've done in the past. Got far too much to do and usual not enough hours in the day to do it!

I've had almost no sleep this last week due to a combination of worrying about the house, being woken up early by drilling and banging two streets away and getting up early to take the car to the garage early saturday morning. When combined with my usual late nights, it's not a pretty sight!

So, as I'm in the final stages of writing a novel at the moment, I've decided that once it's finished to focus on comics for the next few months after. I have a few short projects that could be written fairly quickly, 4 issues mostly, and they take a heck of a lot less time than a full novel. Also the break from the book will give me a chance to rinse my head out from it, so when I come back to it in say 3 months I can edit it without feeling like I'm dismembering one of my children.

Problem 1, finding an artist. In preparation I've been scouring websites, posting bulletins and WANTED ads, even chasing artists I've found online via web sites, message boards, or their comicspace page, in the hope of finding someone who shares my interest in comics about other stuff outside superheroes. I love those books, love them, however I love other stuff too. So the idea of The Empyre, a comic about, well, lets say its like the TV show 24 meets TV's The West Wing, with a big twist, nevertheless, its full of action, politics, people running around and blowing stuff up, political wrangling and international goings on, but finding an artist who has a reasonable realistic style that isn't cartoony to get on board is proving near impossible. I've found two in the past, one in Canada, who basically stopped writing back, so I gave up on him and then I found someone else about 4 weeks ago who sounded very keen and now.......he's gone silent too. No idea what is going on!!! And now it's starting to bother me. Maybe people think the comic is a Bush-bashing book, but given that the political leaders are just characters and not based on actual people in power, I don't see the issue. Sending it in as a submission without an artist is possible with some comic companies, but you stand a much better chance if you have someone on board. If I can't find someone who is reliable in the next few months I might just have to throw it out there as it is in script form and see if any of the companies show interest. It's very frustrating.

Going to keep trying though, found a couple of other artists, not sure if they're open to people approaching them, but it's worth a shot. Would much prefer to work with a UK artist on The Empyre, given its subject and the next two mini projects, both about 4 issues and set in the UK, as it would be more organic, but we'll see.

If you know of anyone who can draw, please send them my way.

“Thai cops punished by Hello Kitty”

Police chiefs in the Thai capital, Bangkok, have come up with a new way of punishing officers who break the rules - an eye-catching Hello Kitty armband.

The armband is large, bright pink and has a Hello Kitty motif with two hearts embroidered on it.

From today, officers who are late, park in the wrong place or commit other minor transgressions will have to wear it for several days.

Hahahahahaha, serves them right.

I love it!!!!!!

So, I didn't draw this, someone with artistic ability did. So, well done to them for being able to draw better than me who has the ability of a five year old. Now, here's all the things wrong with this redesign of Carol Danvers, Ms Marvel.

1. Um, cameltoe much?
2. That belt is impractical, useless and utterly pointless. I think it's only purpose on the back is to cover up her ass crack.
3. The GIANT gold metal disk on her crotch is just an invitation for villains to punch her there. Never pleasant.
4. The costume is tailored to draw your eyes not to the usual area of her giant breasts, which to be fair have been toned down, but now to her crotch.
5. The gloves are pointless, decorate and look like something the White Queen would wear. Don't get me started on her costume.
6. Oh and I've just noticed, the costume looks backless, as if it were some kind of frikkin' evening dress! How about a costume that serves a purpose and actually protects her from fighting aliens and supervillains, one that is durable and not likely to tear at the first sign of trouble and expose more of her ass and tits.
7. This character is ex-military, an Air Force pilot for Pete's sake, so what if, just for fun, they made this more like a military flight suit, made it into a one piece, joined the cool boots to the rest of it, or just had an overlap, make the sleeves part of the costume and also they gave her a mask to keep her secret identity, you know, secret, I think it would be a cool redesign.

Yes, it's a fictional character, and I know exploitative costumes for either sexes are not uncommon in comics, but I like this character and think her current costume is just weird given her background, so a redesign to fit with the year 2007 sounds good.

Just an idea.

Such a huge relief!!!!!! My new boss called me at 6.50pm last night and offered me the job. He said he and the other directors were really impressed, my breadth of experience was in my favour as I'd done different things and wasn't a specialist, and they needed that because they're not sure what bits of marketing will work for them. So, my strangely spotty CV with odd jobs actually worked in my favour.

My new boss is a nice guy and they look after their employees, they have a *gasp* team spirit and believe in rewarding good work, another shocker!!! So much of what they do sounds so normal and obvious to most people, but after being here for 3 years it sounds like DisneyLand to me! My current company has taught me a lot, how NOT to look after your employees, how to DE-motivate employees, how NOT to manage people, as my current boss is the WORST manager I've ever had, and one of the most slimy little creeps I've ever had the misfortune of meeting.

I actually didn't mind coming in to work today because I knew that on Monday, or around then, I will be handing in my notice and then counting down the days until I leave. I just can't WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This month in the special comic related issue of ImagineFX magazine, the artist magazine for sci fi and fantasy artists, it focuses a bit on comics, comic art, comic creators, and as well as a fab interview with Alan Moore, he of the giant beard and long hair, there is a column by ME!!!!!!

Ok, so it's only a short one, about my trip to last years Bristol International Comix Expo event, my first impressions and all, but they did let me pimp Mythos a little in return, which is nice!

I got my sticky little fingers on a copy of it today at lunch time! It's just come out this week in the UK and is due worldwide elsewhere. If nothing else, I'll get a lot more hits on my website!!!! The bad news is they included a photograph, so my internet anonimity will be at an end for anyone who posts where I do, and reads this magazine. Bum. Never mind, it had to come to an end sometime. I expect a wave of Jeff Goldblum related posts at any moment...........

Go out and buy a copy! Or visit their website at http://www.imaginefx.com/02287754331122916761/imaginefx-issue-17.html

Or better yet, buy Mythos!

Slightly earlier than I was expecting, but a nice surprise nevertheless, my interview with Jennifer Contino has been posted on The Pulse website. It's a detailed Q and A interview that I recently finished and sent off to her only last Sunday I think it was. She'd said it takes about 2 weeks turnaround for something to go live. Three days is pretty damn good!

Anyway, look for a topic called "The Mythos of Stephen Aryan" and feel free to post comments about the interview afterwards.

http://www.comicon.com/pulse/

Ok, I'm going to post this here but will no doubt end up copying chunks of it elsewhere and updating it, once more info is available.

My ideas for this coming weekend are:

Saturday afternoon about 4-5pm go and see a film at Vue Cinema, Kirkstall, Leeds.
Postcode is LS4 2DG (It's important, and you'll see why in a sec.) At the moment they don't have the films or times for this Saturday, so closer to the day I can be more specific about film choices and time.

Depending on what film we see, and what times it finishes, we can go for drinks before at one of the pubs, bars nearby on the out of time complex thingy or proceed straight to the restaurant which is booked for 7.30pm, and the post code is (LS3 1JX). Now if you're really clever with Multimap or flick between two pages, you can see how close they are. It's worth driving given the complex thingy is on a main road, but finding somewhere to drink after the meal won't be a problem, since there are some nice pubs nearby and one of my friends lives in that area so knows it better than me.

The restaurant is UNLICENSED, and is an alcohol free zone. Not sure why, but there it is. I don't mind, because I've not found an alcoholic beverage that goes well with it, like Cobra with a hot curry etc. Also, it's cash only, so I reckon 20 quid a head would be plenty for a starter, main course, and if you want dessert and somehow have room, bring a little more.

So afterwards, we can waddle to a pub, or park back over the road (well 4 mins drive max) in the big free car park and drink a pint...or two.

Sunday, my idea was, since a few people are down by Nic E in Rotherham, to head out to a nice pub for Sunday lunch somewhere around there with convention folk. It's going to be weird enough to have friends from different parts of my life all together in the same place at the same time for one night. Two would be too much.

Anyway, that's the general plan, no doubt subject to change. Waiting to hear if Steve and Naomi are coming, but two places have been booked for them at the restaurant just in case.

Ok, so cinema times are in, and films available that puts on reasonable track for people getting to the cinema, and also ending in time for the meal are

Norbit - not now, not ever paying for this movie.
TNMT - um, no thanks.
Amazing Grace - maybe. Not exactly light-hearted fun though.
Hot Fuzz - Oooooh, now I wouldn't mind seeing this romp again and I'm sure I could twist the arm of a certain Coventry girl to see it just one more time. Not sure how many other people have seen it.

Bah. It seems as if a few people have seen Hot Fuzz and even though I wouldn't mind seeing it again, it's not cool for other people. All I want to do is see a film I want to see on my birthday (or near enough) and people can come to it if they want to, or not, I honestly dont mind and won't be offended that they don't want to spend the better part of the day with me, but then join me for dinner at the restaurant at 7.30pm and go for drinks after. That was the plan. Now.........no idea.

Now that it's all over, I'm looking at you especially Miss B, are you having withdrawals?

Well, you need not worry and watch the repeat episodes on an endless cycle, now you can read new and really cool books about West Wing-type goings on.

I'm currently reading, The First Counsel by Brad Meltzer, and its a very fast paced, yet detailed conspiracy book set in and around the West Wing and the First Daughter, secret service and such. Only read first 50 pages or so and I'm totally hooked, I feel like I'm walking along the corridors of power.

The story isn't set in the West Wing itself, the main character is someone much further down the chain of command, but nevertheless it's interesting and exciting stuff.

Other stuff, got my all day interview thing on Wednesday at Hallmark. I drove up there Saturday so I know where I'm going and don't get lost on the day. I spoke briefly to the guy from the agency who once again reaffirmed there is no real preparation, and accuracy is more important than speed on the psychometric tests that will no doubt give me. The weird bit of news, and maybe I'm just naturally suspicious and cynical, but he told me the other candidate he is putting forward isn't as good as me, and he knows of two others who he isn't sure why they are even there, so there could be as many as seven people on the day, all there for one job.

Interviews bit doesn't worry me really, as once I get in there, the only thing I can be is myself and they either like me or they don't. I'm not going to pretend to be someone else. The tests I can handle, although I don't like them, it's the group games that are a challenge. You have to be yourself, but also outspoken without being pushy, inclusive of others but also putting your own ideas forward too, a group player but also good at working by yourself. The other thing is apparently we have to do individual presentations. Everyone is given the same thing to prep, some time to prepare then you stand up and talk for ten mins or something. I hate presenting. I hate being the centre of attention, but needs must when the devil vomits in your handkerchief, or so the saying goes.

In case I'm unsuccessful, I've got 11 other applications on the go, and one application form in with Leeds Met, so not resting all my hopes on this, but so far the job looks good and more important to me, interesting, as I have a very low boredom threshold when it comes to my jobs. In which case, it looks interesting for the short term. Two and a half years (my current place) is my longest job so far, and I was bored after about 15 months. Need a new challenge, need something to sink my teeth into and keep my brain ticking over, and need to know there is somewhere to progress and something new to learn. There is nothing for me in my current job except further boredom and the vain hope my boss will retire or die suddenly, as unless either of those happen, or the company is taken over by a competitor (also unlikely) my job will never change.

Oh, and BSG series 2 is awesome. Just watched the end of it last night and I was buzzing for ages, totally unable to sleep.

How's Monday with you?

I got Lois Lane. Spunky, intelligent and tough. Sounds about right. Can't get picture thing to work, won't post into my LJ for some reason but here is info on her.

56.8% Match
Lois isn't super powered, but she's super 'spunky'. Smart, pushy, brash and sexy, Lois is the type of good natured gal you want.


Also, just been back to see the dentist, to check on my former tooth, and to keep it clean she just put some more of this ganky stuff on it that tastes like, well something really unpleasant and now I have no appetite again and I NEVER lose my appetite. The only time you know I'm really ill is when I won't eat and now I don't feel like it as the taste is so....guuuuuh! So, because NHS are crap and I've waited 6 months already, and don't want a repeat where more teeth come out, I've gone private, made an appointment with a local one, and am going in a couple of weeks. It's going to be expensive, but it will be worth it, otherwise I may end up with wooden pegs or a glass of water beside my bed where I put my dentures every night. No, thank you.